Making Feedback Easier to Receive - The Power of “Yes, And”

23 Apr 2025 | Four-minute read

As an experienced engineer at Amazon and elsewhere, I’ve been on both sides of feedback—giving it and receiving it—countless times. Whether it’s reviewing design documents, analyzing correction of error (COE) reports, or hashing things out in meetings, feedback is an essential part of how we work and grow.

But over time, I’ve noticed something interesting: some feedback just lands better than others.

Why is that?

Is it about who gives the feedback? Is it about what the feedback is? Or maybe it’s about how it’s delivered—like using a feedback sandwich to cushion criticism with compliments?

All of those factors can matter. But here’s the thing: we rarely have control over how others deliver feedback to us. What we do control, though, is how we deliver feedback to others. So the better question might be:

Are there ways to make the feedback you give easier for others to receive?

Enter: “Yes, And”

One powerful mindset I’ve found useful is a principle borrowed from improvisational theatre: “Yes, and.”

In improv, “yes, and” is more than a catchphrase. It’s a mindset. When a fellow performer offers an idea—no matter how unexpected—you accept it (yes) and build on it (and). The result? Collaborative creativity.

This approach is:

Now contrast that with the more common “yes, but.”

“Yes, but” feels safer. It lets us acknowledge someone’s idea without truly embracing it. It protects our own perspective while subtly shutting down the other person’s contribution. It puts the onus on someone else. And while it avoids risk, it also limits growth.

Here’s an example to illustrate the difference. Suppose we’re talking about funding cuts to public housing. One person might ask:

Did you think about what happens to the residents?

That’s valid. But compare it to:

We need to think about what happens to the residents.

The second builds on the conversation rather than challenging it. It moves the discussion forward.

Using “Yes, And” in Feedback

So how does this apply to feedback in the workplace?

When giving feedback—especially constructive feedback—it’s tempting to default to “no,” “but,” or even questions that offload the responsibility:

Are you sure this will scale?

Have you considered the edge cases?

While these are legitimate concerns, they can come off as dismissive or adversarial.

Instead, consider a “yes, and” approach:

I see where you’re going with this. I think we should also considered scalability early in the design.

This is a solid starting point, and one area we could expand is how it handles edge cases.

You’re still delivering the same feedback. But now you’re collaborating. You’re building. You’re creating space for growth—without triggering defensiveness.

Final Thought

Giving feedback is an art—and like all art, it improves with practice. “Yes, and” doesn’t mean avoiding critique. It means delivering it in a way that invites conversation rather than conflict.

Try it in your next review, meeting, or mentoring session. You might be surprised how much more open—and productive—the conversation becomes.

A Personal Connection: Toastmasters

Before we wrap up, I wanted to share a personal story about how these ideas came to life for me outside of work.

Recently, after attending a friend’s improv graduation class, I needed to come up with a meeting theme for East Side Toastmasters Club—and the principle of “Yes, and” was the perfect fit.

Here’s how I introduced it to the group…

Welcome to tonight’s meeting. It’s always a pleasure to be among a group of people committed to growth—both as communicators and as leaders.

One of the amazing things about clubs like ours is that they bring together people with a common interest. For us, it’s that powerful link between communication and leadership—and tonight’s theme highlights a simple phrase that captures that connection beautifully: “Yes, and.”

Have you heard this phrase before? Anyone know where it comes from?

Exactly—it’s a principle rooted in improv. In improvisational theatre, “yes, and” is more than just a guideline; it’s a mindset. It means accepting what someone else has offered and then building on it. It’s cooperative. It’s creative. And yes—it can feel risky. Because saying “yes, and” means we’re willing to step into the unknown, to embrace ideas we didn’t originate.

Compare that to “yes, but.” That phrase might feel safer. It allows us to nod politely while holding tightly to our own opinions. It avoids risk—but it also limits growth.

Now, you don’t need to actually say “yes, and” or “yes, but” for the mindset to show up in your language. Imagine we’re discussing funding cuts to public housing. One person might say:

“Did you think about what happens to the residents?”

Another might say:

“We need to think about what happens to the residents.”

Both are concerned. But only one builds forward.

So tonight, and throughout the week, I encourage you to tune in—to your own language, and to how others speak. Are you hearing “yes, and” or “yes, but”? Are you opening doors, or quietly closing them?

Let’s take that spirit into tonight’s meeting. Let’s support, build, and grow—together.